GUEST POST: Learning the 4 T's When You're Locked Out of Your House

Image: Pinterest

Image: Pinterest

**This is a sponsored post.**

When Zach and I were first married, we were 25 years old. Prior to becoming husband and wife we had dated for four years in college and during my time in graduate school. We had dealt with a two year long distance relationship as well. We felt like the hurdles and curve balls that were thrown at us were dodged and thrown back at full force. Zach and I felt like a true team - a compatible couple that laughed, sang, cried and was always there when one of us needed the other.

And then came children. Don’t get me wrong, our children are wonderful. We have a three-year-old daughter and a three-month-old son. Suddenly our comforting, casual and carefree marriage was turned upside down with strollers, diapers (oh so many diapers), wipes, toys and so much more! While we loved spending time with our children, our time as an "us" couple was dwindling slowly. A few years ago, Zach and I decided to uproot our family from the windy city of Chicago, to the southern pines of Atlanta. We were excited for our new adventure and all that awaited us.

One afternoon Zach and I were outside on our deck painting. Our two-year-old at the time (we didn’t have our son yet) had gone inside to grab a toy. I realized she had been gone a while and went to try and open the door to go back into our home when it wouldn’t open! I tried again. It was locked! I began panicking and quickly called Zach over to help me unlock the door. He tried his best and continued to knock to get our daughter’s attention. Suddenly we were in a screaming match of who had let our daughter go into the house unsupervised. We began blaming one another for what was taking place.

Thankfully my husband had his cell phone with him and called STL Locksmith. Their emergency locksmith service covers a wide area in Georgia, and they were not only friendly at calming us down but extremely prompt in helping us unlock our door and get to our daughter. Of course, they know that these things happen and thankfully are always fully-equipped with their training and helping to ease our frustration.

The moral of this story? Instead of blaming one another for what happened (because as scary as it is, it does happen from time to time) we should have remembered the Four T’s of communication. The first is timing. Is it a good time to bring up what’s going on? In this circumstance, it most definitely was as we were stranded outside! But I realized in my own panic that I went right from timing to my tone. The tone in my voice was scared and blameful on my husband because I thought he was watching her and vice versa. Our tone to one another was harsh, hurtful and not needed in a scary situation that had occurred. The third “t” is technique. I was blaming my frustration on my husband and that wasn’t fair as we were both at fault for what had happened. The last “t” is truth. Is what I’m hearing and saying truthful, or am I just frustrated? Despite blaming my husband for what was occurring, I was also using harsh words and again, should not have been saying them.

After the chaos of our daughter locking us out of the house (and yes she was ok and was actually sitting on the couch the entire time we were calling the locksmith over), we assessed the words and our communication a few hours after it had settled down. We were both scared at what had happened but instead of blaming one another, we just needed to effectively communicate our frustration. Thinking of the four t's during this experience could have helped us think of other words to say instead of becoming angry. Afterwards, we praised one another saying “I’m so happy you were there" and “Thank you for being calm while talking to the locksmith.” We also thought that a neighbor should have a spare key just incase it were to happen again (it hasn’t since, thank goodness).

Things happen. Life happens and marriage takes work. It will test you and your relationship as often as it can. My suggestion when faced with a tough situation or event? Think of the four t's when possible and take a few deep breaths before you begin to fire words at your spouse. And be sure to have backup key somewhere close by!Hi everyone! My name is Cait and I blog at Cait's Cozy Corner! My blog shares a lot of my family (we just had our son 3 months ago and have a little girl who is 3 1/2), our travels around the world (we recently went to Oktoberfest..I was 8 weeks pregnant so you can imagine the fun I had over in Germany during that time), my love of coffee and shopping, plus some tips on fashion, food, fitness and more! I love meeting and getting to know my followers both online and in real life! We moved to Atlanta two and a half years ago and love it, especially coming from Chicago and those bitter cold winters! I hope you all stop by the blog and say hi! 

bio.jpg

About Cait:

Hi everyone! My name is Cait and I blog at Cait's Cozy Corner! My blog shares a lot of my family (we just had our son 3 months ago and have a little girl who is 3 1/2), our travels around the world (we recently went to Oktoberfest..I was 8 weeks pregnant so you can imagine the fun I had over in Germany during that time), my love of coffee and shopping, plus some tips on fashion, food, fitness and more! I love meeting and getting to know my followers both online and in real life! We moved to Atlanta two and a half years ago and love it, especially coming from Chicago and those bitter cold winters! I hope you all stop by the blog and say hi! 

My Wife and I Are Obsessed with Amazon

By Derek Reimherr

I’m addicted to Amazon. There, I said it.

It all started in 2011 when Amazon Prime was still picking up traction in the public mainstream. They had a special deal on the annual subscription (I think it was $20) for college students. I soon realized I could buy textbooks on Amazon Prime for a lot cheaper. That was only the beginning.

Naturally, I started feeding the Prime beast by ordering more and more things to take advantage of the 2-day “free” shipping. “What?” I would ask myself, “You have to get your money’s worth.”

Then they added Amazon Video. Now if Netflix or Hulu didn’t have it, Amazon probably did. That logo was always there just waiting for me on my PlayStation or Roku home screen. “Why not rent a movie here?” it would ask. Slowly, other on-demand movie rental subscriptions fell by the wayside. Amazon Prime Video became our new Blockbuster.

Then we got Amazon Prime Rewards credit cards. This was truly the beginning of the end for the Reimherr household. All of the sudden, we got 5% cashback on all of our Amazon purchases. Why buy gifts at Target when I could get free 2-day shipping on the exact same thing, probably for a better deal AND I would get cashback?

Soon after we made the switch to the new credit card, we heard about Dash buttons for the first time. Apparently, Dash buttons were physical buttons that tied directly to ordering a specific brand’s product. You pick out your button, Amazon sends it to you (complete with $5 off your first purchase using the button), you pair it to your WiFi, and you’re set.

Now when we are running low on toilet paper, Maggie just opens up the bathroom cabinet and there it is, lying in wait. She presses the button and the small light blinks green. Soon, one of us will get a notification through our Amazon iPhone app saying, “Your Charmin toilet paper has shipped!”

What madness hath we wrought upon ourselves? We thought we were at the point of no return. There was no lower we could sink.

And then there was the Dash Wand.

Amazon has iterated on the Dash Wand numerous times, never quite hitting the mark. In the summer of 2017, the team finally struck gold. The 3rd generation Amazon Dash Wand has Alexa voice recognition built in and a barcode scanner attached….for only $20.

But for a limited time only, the $20 Dash Wand came with a 3-month trial of Amazon Fresh (worth $15 a month), plus a $20 rebate off your first purchase. Amazon was giving me $45 to buy their latest gadget. Our Dash Wand now hangs silently off the provided hook next to our chalkboard in the kitchen.

In Boston, we didn’t have access to the fresh food delivery service because we weren’t close enough to the city center. In Atlanta, we live roughly two miles from the literal center of the city. Amazon was closer than ever to having a remote office in our home. It didn’t take much research to sell us on the service completely.

Soon our free trial will come to an end. But for only $15 a month (on top of our annual Prime membership), we’ll continue to have access. We can peruse all of Amazon’s fresh meat and produce, plus other perishable and nonperishable items, and get an attended or unattended delivery right to our doorstep. Perishable items come in brown paper bags with insulated liners and cold packs to keep our cilantro and basil fresh. After doing a price comparison, it’s roughly the same price, plus the extra $15 for the subscription.

As it turns out, bell peppers are extraordinarily cheap with Fresh. Curse you, Amazon. We love bell peppers.

Photo by leonie wise on Unsplash

Photo by leonie wise on Unsplash

I shudder to think how much longer it’ll be before we have Amazon Echos strategically placed throughout our home. Soon, I’m sure. I bet the Cyber Monday deals will be amazing.

Now our life is an amalgamation of convenience and brand loyalty.

Whenever we’re running low on milk, I pick up the Dash Wand and scan our Horizon Organic carton. It’s automatically separated into our Amazon Fresh Cart. When Maggie does our meal planning on Sundays, she makes sure our cart costs at least $40 so that the delivery is free.

On Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on the delivery time Maggie selected, we’ll get 3 or 4 bags of food handed to us by a nice delivery person. Since I put on pants for this delivery, I decide to walk down to our package room and check the mail.

Oh, we have a package. I sign in to our delivery lockers - it’s an Amazon box. I guess Maggie pushed the Dash Button for our Tide Detergent Pods.

After dinner, Maggie is brushing her teeth with the toothpaste we ordered on Amazon after we forgot to buy it at Publix last week. I’m sitting on the couch watching Man in the High Castle via Amazon Video.

I’ve got my Amazon iPhone app open casually browsing daily deals. Apparently, we have $50 in Amazon Prime Rewards points from all these Amazon Fresh purchases. I decide to cash them in and buy a new boardgame. It’ll be here in 2 days.

As Maggie and I are laying in bed preparing for sleep, she asks if I want to go see “The Big Sick” starring Kumail Nanjiani. We just finished binging Silicon Valley, so we’re very interested in seeing the movie, especially since it received outstanding reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. We buy tickets for Saturday night.

We’re sitting in the theatre a few days later. The previews end and the opening credits roll.

The movie was produced by Amazon Studios.

Dear God, what have we done.

We're Not Really "Milestone People"

By Maggie Reimherr

Picture this: it’s 10:45 pm on our first anniversary. Derek’s reading a book on his Kindle. I’m about to go to sleep. I sit up in bed with a start.

“OUR CAKE! WE DIDN’T EAT OUR CAKE. WE’RE EATING IT NOW.”

At my insistence, Derek reluctantly gets out of bed and follows me to the kitchen. I pull the top tier of our cake out of the freezer. It’s frozen solid. Derek asks, “Are we supposed to eat it frozen?”

No, sir, we are not.

“Huh. I didn’t think of that. Oh well,” I say, leaving the cake on the counter to defrost. “We’ll try again tomorrow.”

We forgot to do the one thing you’re supposed to do on your first anniversary.

On our way back to bed I remark, “We’re not really milestone people, are we?”

Derek replies, “Nope. We are not.”

I ponder this thought before rolling over and saying, “It’s better to live a happy life all the time than place too much weight on the ‘milestones.’”

I think that’s a really important life lesson. I don’t know about you, but I certainly know some people who would react to forgetting to eat cake on their anniversary like their life/marriage was ruined. Do our daily lives have so little value that we only live for the moments that are supposed to be “big”? I hope not.

It’s not that Derek and I aren’t celebration people. In fact, I think it’s that we celebrate all the time.

Good day at work? Good for you - crack open a beer! Thursday? Congrats, we almost made it through the week - let’s have friends over for board games to celebrate. Minor achievement? Treat yo’self. Avoiding pregnancy month after month? Have a glass of wine and give yourself a pat on the back for properly administering your prescribed medication.

We tend to celebrate the small things, so when the big things come around, they don’t feel much different than our every day. I think that’s a good way to live.

Of course, we celebrate bigger things too - like birthdays and holidays and job interviews and first days of work and signing leases. But we don't put pressure on those days - which ultimately leads to disappointment anyway - because we celebrate every day.

We did celebrate our anniversary, too - with BBQ brunch and sushi dinner (our love for food knows no borders). Full disclosure: we actually wound up canceling the reservations we had at a fancy restaurant because we felt like keeping it casual that night.

But then we forgot one teensy detail.

So no, our marriage isn't ruined because we forgot to eat cake on March 26. When we got around to it on March 27, the whole thing was pretty anticlimactic anyway. We each ate a little sliver of it and then kinda looked at it and asked, “So do we just throw away the rest?”

(Side note: it was quite well preserved and not at all disgusting, so props to the person who wrapped it in 3 layers of cling wrap, 1 layer of tin foil, and a gallon size bag.)

I felt bad about the idea of throwing it away so it lived in a ziploc bag in our refrigerator until one of us decided “enough is enough” and threw it away. But can you imagine what would have happened if we'd put too much pressure on the moment of eating a few bites of year-old cake? I'd be despondent, asking, “Why didn't that feel more special?” Or I'd have eaten the whole tier of cake on principle.

Life's special enough. Celebrate the small stuff. The big stuff never disappoints when you live out every day in celebration.

Foreshadowing of me saying, "Whatever! It's just cake!"

Foreshadowing of me saying, "Whatever! It's just cake!"

Divorce Boats

By Maggie Reimherr

I once heard someone call kayaks divorce boats. I concur. Derek and I have been on a kayak exactly once, and it wasn't pretty.

Our friends Chris and Amanda were visiting us in Boston for a weekend. We’d heard that a *quintessential Boston activity* was kayaking the Charles River. It sounded really fun and like a great way to see the city, so we thought, “Sure! Why not?”

We arrived at the kayak rental station in Cambridge, MA on a sunny May afternoon. We decided, “Hey, we’re married couples. Let’s get double kayaks!”

This was a grave mistake.

We started slathering on some sunscreen to prepare for an afternoon of boating on the Charles like true New Englanders. Like the very unathletic person I am, I decide to wear a dress that day. We were going to an improv show later that night and wouldn’t have time to go back to the apartment to change. I hiked my leg up onto a cooler at the kayak rental place to put on some sunscreen, and some RUDE-ASS LADY walked up to me and said something about how she could see my underwear. Cool, thanks. I don’t really care if anyone sees my incredibly modest granny panties, but you just made me feel self-conscious about being unladylike. 

So I was entering into this boat ride already a little emotionally distressed.

Via Giphy

Via Giphy

We decided Derek would take the back of the boat for steering purposes, and I’d be in front. This meant that when it came time to take a cool selfie of us on the boat, I was going to have to be the one to snap the picture without losing an iPhone in the depths of the Charles River. Lucky me.

Between the accidental flashing and the potential iPhone drowning, on a scale of 1-10, my anxiety was at around a 7.

We started paddling and immediately, the physics of kayaking baffled me. I knew I had to put the oar in the water and push to move forward. What I didn’t realize was that this motion, if done incorrectly, could cause the kayak to veer to one side or go around in circles.

Derek started to get frustrated with my willy-nilly paddling. Additionally, each time I dipped my paddle into the water, somehow I couldn’t get it together and not splash water all over him. “Here, just take a break and let me paddle,” he said in frustration.

It’s one thing to paddle yourself in a single kayak. It’s another thing entirely to try to paddle you and your wife in a double kayak when she’s a completely useless partner. Derek is a champ, but one man can only take so much. His arms got tired. He requested my help once more. I kept splashing him and spinning the boat in circles.

At this point, we’d made it maybe 50 yards from the spot where we departed from land. I don’t know if I had an unrealistic expectation of how far two people can go in a kayak, but I thought we’d be moving at regatta speed and see a big chunk of Boston.

I was wrong. We had MIT on one side of the river and Back Bay on the other, and that’s it. For visual representation:

Divorce Boats.png

Derek and I started snapping at each other.

Derek: “Maggie, STOP SPLASHING ME.”
Me: “We’re in the water! Water splashes! Get over it!”

Derek: “Can you please paddle straight?!”
Me: “I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS WORKS, OKAY??!”

All the while, our friends Chris and Amanda were floating down the Charles nearby, having a blast. We pulled our boats next to each other and convened on a game plan.

“So, uh… do y’all want to go back to the shore?” I asked nervously.

We’d been on the river for probably 45 minutes. To my relief, they said it was fine to return. They are very accommodating and very good sports.

But getting back was not easy. More splashing, more spinning in circles, more groaning, until finally, we reached dry land.

And what do you know? Like a beacon in the night, right before our eyes was a glorious, beautiful beer garden.

It was time for alcohol.

We returned our boats and immediately made our way to the bar. Sun-tired and sore from kayaking, we sat and drank beer and chatted and laughed.

Just when I thought we’d forgotten about the troublesome kayaking from earlier, Derek whispered, “We are NEVER sharing a kayak again.”

So take it from me, folks. Save your marriage. Choose the single kayak.

Oh, and we did get our selfie without sacrificing an iPhone. We appear far happier than we actually were.

So We Moved to Atlanta: A Recap

By Maggie Reimherr

I don't know if y'all have noticed, but things have slowed down on the blog over this past month. We have a pretty decent excuse - we moved across the country. But now that we’re settled, it's time to pick it back up. So let's play catch up.

First up: the big move. It didn’t exactly go as planned. You see what happened was…

Derek's license expired about 2 weeks before the move. He planned to get a new one in MA even though it would’ve cost upwards of $150 (total ripoff). But then the day before we packed up, he tripped and sprained his ankle on the cobblestone streets of Boston. In true Boston fashion, the city’s infrastructure gave him a big “f you.”

Did y'all know moving trucks don’t have cruise control? We didn’t. With him in some serious pain and no cruise control to help, it was left to little 5’1” Maggie to drive the truck.

Another question: Did y'all know moving trucks were classified as commercial vehicles and are subject to height clearance rules? Well, I didn't. And this time, it was my turn to receive a big “f you” from a New York State trooper in the form of a ticket. As a lifelong rule follower, I was so embarrassed for not knowing this particular rule. I was also outraged that the cop decided to fill his February ticket quota by pulling over and being extremely rude to a 20-something girl who was already in a very stressful situation. And now I'm avoiding the consequences… I’ve yet to make the phone call to the local courts to find out how much I owe. Luckily we just got our security deposit back from our Boston landlord. So hello and goodbye, money.

So We Moved.png

We made it to Durham, NC in one day as we planned...technically. We rolled into the Holiday Inn Express parking lot at 2:30 am after stopping nearby to “get some fresh air” and “grab a snack.” Quotations used because we were exhausted and needed breaks to wake up. Driving that late at night was extremely unsafe and I wouldn't recommend it. But I'd already booked and paid for the hotel room so we felt obligated to get there. (P.S. Don’t do that either.)

After 1,000 miles on the road, Atlanta was finally in sight. We double checked with the apartment complex to make sure we were good to move in. Of course, we weren’t. We had to set up an account with the utility company to transfer over payment responsibilities. Oh, and we also needed money orders for our move-in fees. So after several frantic phone calls and a stop by Walmart, we finally rolled up to our new home in Atlanta, vowing never to do an out of state move (at least on our own) again.

When we got to Atlanta, we were greeted by friends and family to help move us in (#blessed #thankyou). Beer and pizza are always great motivators for friends. We wasted absolutely no time decorating the place and making it feel like home (one of Derek’s rules - he’s the interior decorator in this relationship). A few days later, I started my new job and Derek started working remotely.

So what've we been up to since? Settling in. Enjoying time with friends and family. Eating at a lot of restaurants in the neighborhood and drinking a lot of local beer. Exploring. Learning how to get around the city… and now, conveniently, as we just learned the routes, without using I-85. We’re walking distance to several parks, walking trails, shopping districts, and restaurants and bars galore, so we’ve taken the time to breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy it.

The whole moving ourselves thing was...rather chaotic. But we are unbelievably thrilled to be here. Shout out to everyone who helped us move - we couldn't have done it without y'all!

And now, back to your regularly scheduled Millennial Marriage programming. New content is coming your way!

A Millennial Anniversary

By Maggie Reimherr

As a millennial, there's one thing related to milestones that's just as important as the milestone itself: the Instagram. I’d been thinking through an anniversary Insta caption for a while, and I realized I can't write an Instagram caption about my marriage like some other women can.

Example: "Marriage is a sweet gift from Abba in Heaven and I praise the Lord for the abundant blessing of doing life with my forever person. #myheartissofull"

Well, I could write a caption like that because I just did. But it would be disingenuous. If you are that girl, more power to you. But when I think of my marriage to Derek, all I can think of is the lightness it's brought to my life.

I used to be dramatic. Wait, I’m still dramatic. I used to be… heavier. I used to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I used to care what everyone and their brother thought about me. I used to be self-conscious and easily embarrassed and about 100x more anxious. Now I’m a lot more joyful and a lot more at peace. A lot of that has to do with faith… and a lot of it has to do with Derek and marriage and being loved so well.

Don’t get me wrong - we’ve done the heavy stuff. We said “I love you” for the first time while crying and holding each other’s faces in a Chick-Fil-A parking lot (#drama). We fought tooth and nail to keep our relationship afloat while living on opposite sides of the country. We had 5 hour phone conversations. We wrote love letters. Derek made the sweeping, romantic gestures.

But now, marriage is just… fun. It’s light. It’s happy. I’m thankful.

Of course we’ve had some rough patches. Some resentment. Some personal missteps. Some arguments (one time we didn’t speak for an hour because I accidentally called a Lyft to the wrong location). But most of the time, we’re having fun.

We giggle a lot. We make dirty jokes. Derek tickle-attacks me regularly. We speak to each other in our own language with dorky, made up words that only the other person understands. I call him long, obnoxious nicknames that are too embarrassing to write about. (Okay, fine. Once he was wearing his boxers around the apartment and I called him Mr. Thighs.) We drink beer and play board games and hang out with our friends. We have little routines everyday, like making eggs for breakfast and singing songs to each other while getting ready. We go on adventures around town.

And we take risks. We bet on our relationship for almost 2 years when $400 plane tickets and more than 1,000 miles separated us. I relocated to Boston before we said, “I do,” having never lived outside the south. And when I wasn’t happy, Derek bet on us again and moved back to Atlanta before he was ready.

The word I want to use to describe us is comfortable. But that doesn’t quite hit the mark. I don’t think we’re comfortable, because we still push each other a lot. I think a better way to describe the status of relationship is “content.” We’ve found a contentment in each other that I didn’t know could exist in life.

I don’t think we’re conditioned to seek out or search for contentment, especially in romantic relationships. Culture teaches us that fiery passion is what we should aim for. Of course, passion exists in our marriage. But it’s not what sustains us. The routine of just living our life together is the heart of our marriage and what brings peace.

Just because we’re not declaring our love for each other on Instagram every 5 minutes and not writing love letters anymore doesn’t mean we’re not truly, deeply in love. In fact, we’re more in love than ever because we know each other better than ever.

So on this day, our 1 year anniversary, my Instagram caption wasn’t a grand declaration of how #blessed I am. It was a silly recap of our year complete with emojis:



Derek, thanks for bringing light to the life of a girl who used to lean toward heavy-hearted. I’m excited for the fun that’s to come!

A Leap of Faith: Why I'm Making a Career Change

By Maggie Reimherr

By now you’ve heard the big news: the Reimherrs have moved to Atlanta! Derek explained the when, how, and why. Now I’m here to dive into the life and career change that actually made the move possible.

I'll be brutally honest: my year in Boston was a hard freaking year. Hello, quarter life crisis. Surprisingly for the first year of marriage, our actual marriage has nothing to do with that. But here’s what happened: I went from working for my beloved alma mater to working for a university I’d only seen in movies. The opportunity seemed so glamorous.

Then real life hit. With an hour long commute on the train every day and a 9-6 work schedule, I no longer felt like my life belonged to me. I was in Boston by marriage, not by a choice of my own. At times I took that out on Derek. He didn't really choose to be there either though - his big, corporate job moved him here. On top of my commute, I was realizing that the glamorous job opportunity was just...normal. And it wasn't using my natural strengths and abilities. I spent probably a third of my time working on spreadsheets. I'm not a spreadsheet kind of gal. I was a communications major.

My StrengthsFinder strengths are:

  1. Empathy - I can sense others' feelings by imagining myself in their shoes.
  2. Relator - I enjoy close relationships and working with others to achieve a goal.
  3. Communication - I find it easy to put thoughts into words.
  4. Developer - I recognize and cultivate the potential in others.
  5. Adaptability - I'm "go with the flow"... most of the time. 

I started thinking about careers where I could really harness those strengths for success. I don't have the time or money to go back to school and be a therapist, as these strengths might suggest I should do. So what else can I do? What’s a people-facing job that uses those skills? Our friend Tyler (who’s also gone through a career change) suggested recruiting.

Oh, duh.

It immediately felt like it could be the right fit. And when I saw the job description for a recruiting role at my new company, I thought, “Sign me up.” 

At the same time, I had a lot of thoughts going through my mind. I spent my whole college career and the last 2.5 years post-grad pursuing a fundraising career. What happens to all the time I’ve invested? I also loved the stability a job in higher education provided. For a lot of reasons, that's what I wanted for my life. Moving over to the private sector felt like a risk. I also worried that I'd disappoint people who've mentored me and invested time in my career. 

But my mind continued churning: maybe I’m not in love with working in higher education. Maybe I pursued this career because I love my alma mater, the University of Georgia, with a big part of my heart. The altruistic side of me wanted to give students there the best possible college experience, and that’s why I went into fundraising. Working at UGA always felt right, even on the hard days. I also worked for some of the best people I know. They want to see me succeed, and they want to see me happy. As the child of two Georgia grads, I’ve loved UGA since I was born. Maybe someday our little family could be ready to move back to Athens, but now, we’re just not. It’s not just me in the picture anymore: I have a husband whose career is going to thrive in a big city for the foreseeable future. So with what I've learned in Boston, at this massive, famous, renowned university - that I love my alma mater but my interests are veering away from higher ed in general - my career needed a change.

I also realized that living risk-averse was making for an unsatisfying life. I don't want to just go to work every day and make spreadsheets. I want to go to work excited for the ups and downs and challenges I'm going to face that day. And I want to work in a people-facing role.

When I was interviewing with my new company in Atlanta, I got great vibes every step of the way. They were upfront with me about every question I asked from the very first conversation. It always felt more like a chat with a new friend than an interview. I knew I wasn't just looking for a job in Atlanta. I was looking for the RIGHT job in Atlanta. When I went into the office for my final interviews and some job shadowing, one of the recruiters told me about her day-to-day. She said that sometimes, she has to play the role of therapist for her candidates. So as it turns out, I'll be using those strengths without having to go back to school. 

I’m really happy to say that Derek has supported me every step of the way as I tried to figure out what I wanted. Derek changed careers last year, and I got to be by his side during that process. Now he’s done the same for me. I know I’ve been frustrating at times. So I just want to say: THANK YOU, HONEY.

We’ve been talking about Atlanta for a long time. I just thought it would look like a fundraising job at Georgia Tech or Emory rather than working for a recruiting firm. When my plans changed, luckily, the job market in Atlanta accommodated my new career path.

Don’t get me wrong, changing careers still scares the crap out of me a little bit. It feels like a monumental life change. It’s going to be one of those moments I look back on that defines the trajectory of my life. But I look at it this way: I’m only 24 years old. Half my friends are still in school getting the training they need to pursue their dream careers. It’s a darn good thing I had this year while I’m still so young to get a better idea of what I want out of my life and career. I also think I’m going to be a freakin’ awesome recruiter.

So I’m off on a new adventure. And because I’m a massive dork, I keep thinking about this song from Anastasia:


Heart, don’t fail me now. Let’s do this.

The Reimherrs Are Moving

By Derek Reimherr

The Reimherrs have a big announcement...

And no, we’re not pregnant (thank God).

This weekend, we’re packing up our Boston life and moving to Atlanta, Georgia! How we’re currently feeling:

But we wouldn’t be surprised if you’re reading this going, “Hold up…”

We get it, we’ve got some explaining to do. Buckle up for a story.

I moved to Boston when Toyota relocated me here from California. About a year later, Maggie and I got married and she moved here. It wasn’t too long after that when I decided to make a career change. For about the past year, I’ve been working for a marketing agency in downtown Boston. And since I left Toyota, we started thinking, “Why are we in Boston?” In truth, we didn’t have a great answer.

While we love Boston as a city, we don’t have any ties here. I’ve really enjoyed the past 2 years of living in such a historic place with weekend trips to Vermont, Maine, and New York. We’ve loved our church home at Reality Church in the Boston South End. It’s been awesome being Georgia transplants with a couple that we’re close with there (and we're going to miss them a ton). And it’s been really cool living a “city” life.

I mean, Boston is a really beautiful city.

I mean, Boston is a really beautiful city.

But at the end of the day, we weren’t *in love* enough with the city to stay here. So we started thinking about our next location. We tossed around the ideas of moving to Los Angeles, Denver, Chicago, DC, and Raleigh. We came really close to making the move to Austin, TX.

Maggie kept poking at me, though. “What if we moved back to Atlanta?” I resisted the idea at first; I wasn’t ready to move back yet. I’ve got some serious wanderlust thanks to my two relocations and going back somewhere I spent 22 years of my life wasn’t appealing. But as we were praying through the process, all of our options just kept leading us back to Atlanta.

Then again, atlanta isn't half bad.

Then again, atlanta isn't half bad.

We consider Atlanta home, though neither of us has actually lived in the city limits. Maggie’s family has been in Atlanta for the last 5 years, so she’s spent a lot of time there. I’m from Cumming, GA, about 45 minutes north of Atlanta (or like 2 hours if you're trying to get there at rush hour), and my parents still live there. So while our knowledge of actually living “in town” is limited, we’ve been in the area enough to know what we’re getting ourselves into.

Boston has been lonely at times, especially for me before Maggie moved. Though we have a small group of close friends here, we’ve often had to rely on each other for our social life. This has been amazing for our first year of marriage. We’ve grown a lot closer because we’ve had fewer distractions during rough patches. But we miss having our broader social circle - our larger community of friends and family. Most of our college friends are in Atlanta and almost all of our family is in the South, with a huge percentage being in or near Atlanta. Last year alone, we spent about $4000 on plane tickets traveling to Georgia for friends and family (mostly weddings, but still). That’s dumb. We’re done with that.

A big puzzle piece for us moving to Atlanta was living in a **cool** part of the city. I grew up in the suburbs and want nothing to do with living there again. No downtown life = no Derek moving to Georgia. Enter our dream apartment.

When we were visiting some friends in October, we ate dinner at a restaurant on the east side of town in Poncey Highland. We fell in love with the neighborhood. When Maggie was down south for final job interviews, she toured said dream apartment in what has become our dream neighborhood. Admittedly, her commute is going to be a bit of a mess. That’s the ATL, y’all. But for the time being, it’s completely worth it for weekends on the Beltline (a several mile long paved walking trail through parts of downtown) and being walking distance from yuppie...I mean cool areas in town like Ponce City Market, Krog Street Market, and Little Five Points. I’ll be working remotely with my current company walking to aforementioned locales.

So there you have it: the long story of why we’re moving back to Atlanta. It’s still surreal. We’ve held off announcing until all of the paperwork and conversations were finalized. Honestly, it’s kind of a relief because we’ve been talking about it for months. We’re incredibly stoked to be coming back.

Also, quick PSA for those of y’all not from Georgia: no one calls it HOTlanta. Get that mess out of here. If anything, it’s the “ATL.” Additionally, don’t hit those hard Ts like AT-lan-Ta. No. Wrong. Various acceptable prounciations include “Idlanna,” “Uhlanna,” and “Adlanna.” I’m an “Idlanna” guy myself.

Atlanta friends and family: see y’all soon!