By Maggie Reimherr
We were engaged for 14 months. 14 months of planning, hoping, and dreaming. 14 months of looking at sample menus to see what delicious food we’d be devouring at our wedding. 14 months of ogling photos of our honeymoon resort. 14 months of dreaming of wearing a white dress, dancing the night away with friends and family. 14 months of decisions: signature cocktails or just a beer and wine bar? Suits or tuxes? Peach flowers or coral flowers? Blue bridesmaids’ dresses or pink bridesmaids’ dresses? Traditional ceremony or a ceremony with our own spin? Dance lessons or ‘let’s just wing it’? (We winged it. Derek almost dropped me on the floor because I dipped when he didn’t think we were dipping. Splurge on the dance lessons, peeps.)
Then in a weekend, it was over.
Of course, we had an amazing honeymoon that I still think about on a daily basis. That certainly helped with delaying the post-wedding blues. But when we returned from Riviera Maya, all I could think was, “Now what?”
Yes, being married is amazing, and I’m not trying to downplay that. It’s been a really fun several months always having my BFF around to be silly with me. But there’s something about the end of the engagement season that’s like, “What the heck am I supposed to do with my time now? What do I daydream about?”
After the wedding, looking at our photos made me sad and nostalgic, wishing I could relive that weekend over and over and over again.
The post-wedding blues can leave a wife in quite a funk. I am a planner. With nothing to plan, I felt like I was on the verge of a nervous-breakdown. (It certainly didn’t help that I was in Boston, an unfamiliar place with very few friends. Having some wine nights and commiseration with my ladies would’ve helped.) I felt totally aimless.
That’s how I wound up with a “Hypothetical Vacations” email folder filled with 30 itineraries for our future travels. I have issues. But focusing on a new thing kept my brain busy.
Here’s what I learned about myself during the post-wedding blues: I always need a project, and I always need something to look forward to.
After a season of aimlessness, I channeled my need for a project into this blog. With the blog now running with some semblance of a well-oiled machine, I’ve turned my attention to another project: making our wedding scrapbook. DUH - why didn’t I think of this earlier?
Additionally, I came up with my next thing to look forward to. Remember that awesome honeymoon I mentioned earlier? I recently drove the hard sell to Derek like a used car salesperson to convince him that we needed to book a similar trip around our anniversary. It worked. I found an amazing deal and read every single review that exists on the internet about it. After due diligence and thoughtful consideration, we booked the trip. See you in April, Cancun. (More blog posts to come on this trip.)
While booking a second honeymoon might not be feasible for you, you can still come up with things to look forward to together. Plan a fun date or a smaller, weekend getaway. Set a goal together, like a fitness or finance achievement, and work together to achieve what you’ve set out to do, looking forward to the celebration when you reach your goal.
The post-wedding blues are real, but they don’t have to last forever. Set out on your next project or challenge, and you’ll be over them in no time.
More from #MillennialMarriage: