The Importance of Girl Time as a Married Woman

By Maggie Reimherr

I love my husband. I love spending time with my husband. It would be a shame if I didn’t since I’m now tied to him for life. We travel together, we watch movies together, we crack lots of jokes, and we have a lot of fun. He sits through musicals for me. I sit through long-winded explanations of video game plots for him. It’s a give and take. We go well together. He’s my best friend, but I’m so glad he’s not my only friend.

Everyone knows the couples who get together or get married and go off the grid, never to be heard from again, or at least for several months until the honeymoon phase ends. We knew we didn’t want to be that couple.

We live about 1000 miles away from most of our BFFs, so we don’t get to have girl time/guy time all the time. But since we got married 4 months ago, we’ve each had 2 weekends when one of us has been out of town visiting friends and the other has been in town with friends visiting. Those times have been so good for us in terms of maintaining friendships, doing typical guy/gal things, and giving us time apart to miss each other a little bit.

Before we got married, I assumed that my married friends didn’t want to hang out without their husbands, so sometimes, that would deter me from making plans. Girlfriends, I’m here to tell you that we married gals still want to hang out with you. There are some things that are just more fun with the ladies.

Here’s a list of things I’d rather do with my girls than with my husband:

  1. See a chick flick. You couldn’t pay me to take my husband to see a cheesy love story that got a just-okay rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The groaning will never be worth it. Please, ladies, I beg you… Come see Me Before You with me so we can cry a little bit and also make fun of ourselves over the fact that we’re crying.

  2. Trade “remember that stupid thing we did in college…” stories. Everyone makes a few regrettable decisions in college, and it’s really fun to laugh with your friends about them. It’s not quite as fun to hear your spouse’s stories and be filled with irrational rage toward a woman your husband kissed 7 years ago in a bar. Kudos to you sweet angels with less jealous personalities than mine who enjoy this.

  3. Pay for $15 cocktails at a rooftop bar. My husband is *frugal*. One time I got a $10 beer at a Red Sox game, and he wouldn’t even take sips of it because he was boycotting the price. I went to New York recently to visit some girlfriends, had $15 cocktails throughout the city, and have no regrets.

  4. Talk about boys. Single friends, I love hearing about your dating life. Please never stop telling me stories and asking me for advice. I want to dish about the cute guy you matched with on Bumble. I went off the market at 20 years old. I need this.

  5. Text about Taylor Swift’s feuds and Kardashian drama. Whenever I share the latest celeb scoop with Derek, I get 2 questions: 1) Why do you know this? 2) Why do you care? I’m just entertained, okay? Being an adult is hard. This frivolity is fun.

This is why when Derek says, “I really want to go to _____ to visit _____ for a weekend soon,” I say, “Yes!”

We both need our friends. I think it’s so important to encourage your spouse in their pursuits, and this includes friendships with people who aren’t you. So ladies, go hang with your girls, chat for hours, and share a bottle (or two) of wine. Guys... do whatever it is y’all do together. We ❤️ friendship in the Reimherr household.


Married friends, how do you balance your marriage and your girl time/guy time? Let us know in the comments!

More Lessons on #MillennialMarriage:

I'm an Extrovert Who Married an Introvert
10 Lessons Learned in 3 Months of Marriage
Long Distance Relationships Suck